I do hereby disclaim that NO, I am not yet a parent.
I have the desire to be, and my wife and I plan to be.
Despite my not being a parent at this time does not in anyway
make my opinion any less valid on this subject.
I was once a teenager, as we all were. That gives me the right.
Now then, let's begin.
Teenagers... are stupid. They are selfish, self-centered, egotistical and self absorbed. The world revolves around them. Yes, there will be exceptions to the rule, but they are just that, the exceptions.
When a person is growing into adulthood, they are finding they have to make decisions for themselves. They want to know who and what they are; how to be liked or why they are not liked enough; what they need to be liked more, what is right and wrong and why things are considered such. Teenage years are all about exploring yourself and your bounds... and it can be very frightening.
As a sophomore at MHS, I looked up to my peers because they seemed to know who they were. They had values and convictions and seemed to stick by them. As I grew older and became a senior, I learned it was all a show. That confidence that I had such envy of was little more than graffiti on a wall, placed there as armor to defend oneself from the glaring eye of your peers. Some were better at it than others, but we all had some more growing up to do.
The other night at a doughnut shop here in Midland, a boy pointed a shot gun at a friend and shot him in the back. The story of "I thought it wasn't loaded" are out, but that doesn't make it any better. The truth of the matter is: a teenage boy took a shotgun ... pointed it at a friend ... and pulled the trigger. Thankfully the boy who was shot is not dead, but that's just plain luck.
So NOW the questions are going around: Where were the parents? Where did he get the gun? What were they doing hanging out that late at night? What the hell could he have possibly been thinking?
When I was 16, my father gave me my first gun, it was HIS first gun... a shotgun. I still have it today. We have birds and deer and even an elk mounted on my parent's walls, so I know very well what a gun can do. We took the gun out shooting and then hunting. I held a 'not yet dead' bird in my hand and pondered the effects of my actions. I've had fun with guns and I've peppered my Dad's friends company car from 100 yards away. (Sorry about that Dad... Guys!) But one thing I learned long before even that: you NEVER point a gun... not even a bb gun... at ANYONE! If you're going to point a gun at someone, you better be ready to accept that that life is in your hands, and live with the consequences of that action.
So then, why would an 18 year old boy point a gun at someone and pull the trigger? Because a parent didn't drive home the point of safety enough? Because he was being macho and thought he knew better? Because he was being a stupid teenager?
I think it was a combination of many things. No one has the answer, especially that teenager that pulled the trigger... and now he has questions that he'll be asking himself for the rest of his life.
My original intention was to come here and start pointing fingers. But the more I write and re-read, the more I realize that so much of it is falling back on something I've seen and known for years: Common Sense is anything but common. Logic... doesn't matter anymore. Opinions rule the day. Anyone can say anything they like. And so long as they argue it loud and clear, it doesn't even have to make sense!
I've studied Logic for years. Lack of the knowledge of it... is killing us as a society. It should be taught in the schools: starting at junior high and mandatory by high school. Perhaps then some of our young adults can formulate for themselves that Guns + Minors + Late night hanging out = Trouble.
Anyhow, guess I'll get off my soap box now.
PS: My best wishes and prayers go out to both families. This is a rough time, but things will get better. Take care.
5 comments:
Hey,
We no longer seem to know how to discipline our young, perhaps because we no longer know how to discipline ourselves. If we could uncover the base reasons of this nondiscipline, much of what is happening today in our society would perhaps become more understandable - and much less acceptable.
I remember my thoughts when I was a teen, "What if my Mom or Dad finds out?
That thought alone stopped me from doing or saying many things. Both from the idea of disappointing them and the thought of my Mom's switch and my Dad's Belt.
Of course that was more than sixty years ago. If you touch your child now, you can go directly to jail.
Papa Ray
Hey,
I forgot to include ol' Bens quote about this.
"Educate your children to self-control, to the habit of holding passion and prejudice and evil tendencies subject to an upright and reasoning will, and you have done much to abolish misery from their future and crimes from society".
Benjamin Franklin
US author, diplomat, inventor, physicist, politician, & printer (1706 - 1790)
Was he right on, or what?
Papa Ray
West Texas
USA
I think a big part in not disciplining our children IS the fact few do discipline themselves. People go through break-ups and divorces and start "seeing" other people, single parents date all manner of men and women, baby-sitters and daycare are to provide guidence as parents are too busy to do it themselves. Those that are around their children are living in fear of being prosecuted for child abuse if they spank. The list goes on and on.
Political Correctness is going to be the end of us all. It is a keystone of the problems we have today.
Well, first of all I am a single mother of 2 boys, so i know how boys are and I have had to deal with my share of injuries. BUT, I have taught both my boys that you never ever point a gun at anyone, EVER. They love to play paintball, a popular sport, and I have threatened both of them with in a inch of thier lives if I ever caught either of them pointing a paintball gun at anyone, unless they are out on the field playing.They wear protective gear when they are playing, so I guess it makes it alittle safer. But at least they are in a controlled environment and not out in public playing with a potentially lethal weapon. Granted kids will be kids and parents can not control every single move thier kids make. And when they start driving and have a new sense of independence you really don't know where they are "really" going and what they are "really" doing. You just have to trust your kids and trust that you have done your dead level best to teach them right from wrong. My oldest son just got his drivers license and I trust him with all my heart, because I know he is a good kid, and that his Dad and I have done our best.That's all you can hope for. The rest is up to the kids. But.....if he ever messes up God help him!!!!!!!!!!!!!!
All of the posts here have many theories and possibilities as to why the kids today are the way they are...all of which are very plausable..(sic), and my opinion is the same..just an opinion...today's kids, the majority, seem to have no guidance, and the simple truth is this...OUR government took away our rights as parents to discipline and guide our children. When I was a child growing up, if we did anything wrong, we were taken to the proverbial woodshed and shown what the consequences of our actions got us. My father took a watermelon and sat it up outside and had me shoot it with a 357 at the age of 7, then told me that the watermelon was equal to the head of a human being...needless to say, I learned quickly NEVER point a gun at anyone! Today, if your child does wrong and you try to ground them, they bad mouth you, so what...they'll get over it, but if they are disrespectful, or are cussing you to the point that you reprimand with a slap to the mouth, to show that if bad things come out of your mouth, then bad things will happen to your mouth, they go to school and report you to their counselor, then the counselor makes a call to the sheriff's dept, and you have to go in and talk to a deputy and if they feel it is warranted then someone will come to visit you from CPS, and they tell you that you CANNOT strike your child or you will go to jail. Yet, if you check the family Law code book, you will find that it states: "A Parent has a LEGAL obligation to the community in which they live to maintain and control the behavior of their child as long as they do not draw blood or break bones." This was shown to me by a Juvenile Corrections Officer in Odessa Texas years ago when I was having problems with my 17 yr old son. So, parents, the next time your child decides to turn you in because you swatted their behind or slapped their disrespectful mouth for the obscenities that spew forth from them, remember, the law says you HAVE to control them. Do not be afraid of CPS, if you are disciplining your child according to God's word, then those who have no children, and yet think they can tell us how to control our own, need to butt out. A parent, a good parent, knows the difference between right and wrong, and we teach our children the way we were taught. Actions have consequences...and in my opinion, a sore rear end would have been a much easier consequence to get over, then the consequence that young man has to live with for the rest of his life because he was never shown what would have happened. Now he knows, and hopefully the kids who were there when he did it, now know also and they will never do the same.
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